Sorcha Mac Murrough
ISBN: 1583450319
buy the paperback buy the ebook
Nurse Sinead Thomas rescues the hospital’s handsome architect Austin Riordan from a life-threatening situation. She accepts his offer to be his private nurse over the Christmas holidays, but gets more than she bargained for as they grow ever closer. A young widow, she never wants to go through the torment of being in love again. But Austin is nothing if not persistent. Can they fight the demons from her past, to secure their hearts’ desire?
CHAPTER ONE
“Men drivers!” Sinead complained flippantly, as the gleaming Jaguar in front of her remained stationary, even though the light had long since changed to green. Irritation gave way to concern as she saw the driver slump forward onto the steering wheel. Instinctively, she hit her hazard lights and dashed out of her car.
Sinead pulled hastily at the door of the Jaguar, and carefully pushed the driver against the back of the seat. Her violet eyes searched the face anxiously. A glimmer of steel-grey peered at her briefly, and Sinead heard her name whispered before they shut again.
Sinead sniffed the man, and decided that whatever was wrong with him, it certainly wasn’t drunkenness. She pulled up his eyelids, and saw the pupils dilated. She turned off the car engine and flicked on his hazard lights, and ran back to her car for her handbag. Sinead rummaged for a tin of cola and a chocolate bar as she returned to the black Jaguar, and shook the handsome stranger by the shoulder.
“Try to stay awake, sir,” Sinead commanded in her best nurse’s tone, while she bent to loosen his tie and undo the top button of his shirt.
“Sinead,” he said again, and to her horror he leaned forward and brushed her lips with his own.
Oddly enough, Sinead didn’t jump. She forced the shivery feelings that had begun to course though her veins to one side as she insisted, “Come now, you must drink some of this.” She opened the cola tin with shaky fingers before pressing it to his lips.
The man held her hand as he drank thirstily, and Sinead tried to stop trembling as the contact invaded her senses. Who was he? Why did he look so familiar? And how did he know her name?
Sinead’s reverie was broken by the sound of a car hooter. She pressed the tin into the man’s hand and shut the door quickly. Both cars were blocking the road, and she had to get help for her sick patient as soon as possible.
Sinead ran back to her own car, and drove it a small distance up the road to the entrance of the primary school. There she parked it, grabbed her canvas holdall, and locked the car securely.
On the way back to the Jaguar, Sinead began to shiver. Too late she realised that she’d left her coat in the boot, and the bitter November chill bit into her uniform and cardigan. But there was no time to go back with the Jaguar still blocking the road and the sick man requiring full medical attention, so hugging her arms around herself, Sinead ran down the lane and onto the main road.
The gentleman now looked more awake, and she asked, “Can you move over, so I can drive?”
“I think I might need a little help,” he replied, in a slightly slurred voice.
The two front seats were wide, so with some pulling and a great deal of rather embarrassing physical contact, Sinead slid him over to the passenger side, and belted him in.
“If you can try to finish the drink, and eat this chocolate bar, you should start feeling better. But I must take you to Casualty to get someone else to look at you,” Sinead said in her most professional manner, as she managed to start the car and cautiously drove down the road.
“Thank you, I will try,” he replied, with a brief smile, as he leaned his head back and took another drink. Sinead studied him briefly once his eyes were closed. The sleek raven black hair and heavy eyebrows, long nose, thin lips, were striking in their masculine beauty, and the lithe lean body suggested power and rock hard control. Sinead finally answered the question which had been nagging her ever since he had first spoken her name.
“Oh no, not Austin Riordan,” she groaned inwardly, though she was in another way relieved to have been the one to discover his diabetic attack. Austin Riordan was the new architect for Castlemaine General Hospital , responsible for all the renovations and the new extensions which had begun about two months before.
That would explain how he might recognise her, but how had he known her name? And how dare he kiss her? Shame burned Sinead’s cheeks as she remember her pleasure, and she could barely concentrate on the road as she looked at him again only to find him staring at her through veiled lids.
“How are you feeling now?” she tried to ask lightly, but her voice had a strained edge to it.
“Much better, if the truth be told. There’s no need to sound so concerned,” Austin replied with a faint smile.
“Naturally I’m concerned. I’m a nurse at the General, and you could have been in real trouble having an attack like that in the middle of a busy road,” Sinead said, again trying to sound calm.
“Well, all I can say is thank you for helping me, and I can thank my lucky stars that of all the people in the world I had to collapse in front of, it was you.” His eyes closed again slowly, masking his thoughts.
Sinead smiled at this, but felt uneasy, wondering if he remembered kissing her. She put the thought out of her mind as she pulled up to casualty, and turned off the engine.
“I’ll go get some help for you, Mr. Riordan,” Sinead said, unconsciously putting a hand on his arm to comfort him and see whether her words registered or not.
Warm, hard masculine fingers enclosed her own briefly, as he replied with a smile, “I’m in your hands.”
Sinead disentangled herself from his caressing fingers as gently as possible, though she felt so shaken she wished she could just jerk her hand away and run. She jumped out of the car and called for assistance, and as soon as the gurney arrived, she opened the passenger door and unbuckled the seat belt.
Again Sinead caught the masculinely alluring scent of him as she leaned across his chest, and everywhere her body brushed against Austin, her skin seemed to go on fire. Sinead was certain that his lips brushed against her cheek, and then she felt his strong arms go around her as he tried to get out of the car. He got onto his feet, and the male nurse came around his left side, while his right arm remained firmly around Sinead’s shoulders. She shook uncontrollably, sure that his fingers were fondling her long honeyblond hair.
“I’m sorry, am I heavy?” Austin’s voice whispered in her ear intimately.
“No, no, it’s not that, Mr. Riordan,” she said, taking a deep breath and trying to control her sensual delight at the sound of his deep voice and the nearness of him. “I’m not wearing my coat.”
They walked him over to the gurney, and made him sit down. While Dan the male nurse helped lift Austin’s legs onto the gurney, Austin kept hold of Sinead, and she practically sprawled on his chest as he pivoted around to lay flat. Austin’s warm hand stroked her back and travelled down her arm in a languid caress as she pulled away and his head made contact with the pillow.
“Thank you, my dear. I’ll see you soon,” Austin murmured, as Dan pushed him away into one of the examining rooms.
Sinead let out a ragged sigh, and stared after Austin absently as he disappeared. My goodness, she thought, that was too close for comfort in more ways than one! She was not used to being so man-handled, but even more surprising was the fact that she had actually enjoyed it! She shuddered with a twinge of pleasure at the remembered contact with his warm, vibrant body, and no matter how much she shook her head in bemusement, she could not stop smelling the musky scent of him.
Forcing herself to be practical, Sinead went back
outside, suddenly realising she would have to do something
with the Jaguar. She drove out of the ambulance area
and around the hospital into the main car park. Then
she gathered up her handbag and carryall, and after checking
carefully to make sure the car was tidy, and everything
turned off, she locked the doors and headed towards the main
entrance.
The rest of Sinead’s day passed by in a whirl. She was rushed off her feet in the intensive care unit, and in some ways she was grateful for the chance to block out the events of the morning. At lunchtime a message came to her that Mr. Riordan wished to see her at her earliest convenience. Sinead felt positively weak at the knees as she looked at the bold handwriting, and was debating over whether or not she should go, when the matter was taken out of her hands by one of the patients suffering another heart attack.
It was not until hours later, after a protracted and vain struggle, when the elderly heart patient was at peace forever, that Austin materialised in her mind’s eye again. Sinead sat alone in the nurse’s office, feeling rather weepy after the pointless struggle, always sorry to lose a patient. As she nursed her cup of tea, she closed her eyes and put her head down on the desk briefly. A pleasantly intoxicating smell filled her senses, and she opened her eyes dreamily. A vision of Austin floated in front of her, his steelgrey eyes glittering as they penetrated her own violet gaze.
Sinead smiled softly, but her dream was shattered as the voice barked out, “I am not accustomed to being kept waiting, Nurse Thomas.”
Sinead blinked several times, her mouth hanging open
with shock and dismay. He was real! What was he doing in her
office?
She scrambled to her feet, and looked down at him sitting
in the wheelchair. She stammered out: “I-I
wasn’t deliberately keeping you waiting, Mr.
Riordan. We had an emergency, and your note slipped my
mind.”
“Well, now that you are obviously free, I would be grateful if you would spare the time to talk to me.”
“Yes, of course, only I can’t really imagine what you wish to talk about,” Sinead said coldly, trying to get rid of him. She was already feeling vulnerable enough without those incredible eyes penetrating into the depths of her soul.
“Can’t you?” Austin said with a little smile, his voice trailing off to a sensual whisper.
Sinead began to panic, as she remembered his kisses and caresses. Had he come here to carry on where he had left off? She assumed her coolest, haughtiest manner, and said, “Mr. Riordan, I am well aware of your reputation for getting everything you want when you want it, but I refuse to be treated as a slave. I have not had the chance to sit down for the past,” she glanced at her watch dramatically, “five hours, and I have just had the unpleasant task of breaking bad news to some grieving relatives. So if you have come for you car keys, here they are, and I’m sorry you had to come here to find me.”
Sinead was near tears as she recollected the frail but jolly old man again, and she could barely disguise her upset as she shakily offered the keys to Austin. Her heart skipped a beat as he took both her hand and the keys, and stroked her fingers gently with his thumb.
“I’m sorry, Sinead, I had no idea,” Austin said quietly, as she tried to pull away. “Just sit back down, and we’ll start again, all right?”
All Sinead could do was nod helplessly, and she returned to the safety of her desk, conscious of his critical gaze taking in all of her appearance as she sat. She wondered with horror what she must look like, and automatically put her hand up to her cap and hair. Just as she suspected—her unruly locks were tumbling down her back, her cap was askew, and she hadn’t put on a scrap of make-up since morning. Glancing down in dismay, she realised she hadn’t zipped up the front of her uniform again after undoing it in the heat of her efforts to save the dying man. Her sleeves were rolled up, exposing her long arms, and her skirt had ridden halfway up her shapely thighs. She hastily pulled a fresh pinafore out of her drawer, and put it on as she got to her feet again.
“If you will excuse me, there are one or two more things I have to check. I’ll be with you in a minute,” Sinead managed to say briskly, as she fled the office without a backward glance.
Essentially a truthful person, she went back around the ward for one last check, before disappearing into the ladies’ room. Just as Sinead had suspected, she looked a mess, and without her handbag there was very little she could do to herself other than rearrange her clothes.
Suddenly, with a stab of anger as much at herself as Austin, Sinead declared under her breath, “This is crazy! What do I care what he thinks of me, anyway? Even if I had my bag, I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of fixing myself up for him.”
Pinafore neatly in place, Sinead squared her shoulders and marched back into the office and faced Austin head on. “Well, if you are insisting on having this chat, can I get you a cup of tea?”
“That’s very kind of you. Milk, no sugar,” Austin said with an easy smile.
Sinead busied herself with the kettle and a mug, all the time painfully conscious of the steel-grey eyes watching her every move. He made no attempt at polite conversation, and Sinead was so unsure of her voice that she could not manage to utter even the simplest platitudes about the weather. Finally the kettle boiled, and she was forced to approach his huge form as she handed him the mug.
“Thank you very much,” he said with a smile. “It seems I am in your debt once again.”
“Mr. Riordan, please don’t embarrass me by
thanking me for doing my job,” Sinead said
casually. “Anyone else would have stopped to help
you, and of course it was lucky that I am a nurse, but you
would have been fine. Let’s say no more about
it.”
“Yes, but I am grateful, and not just because of the
help. You didn’t fuss, you looked after my car, you
inquired after me to the doctor.....”
Austin’s voice trailed away, as she blushed, remembering
that she had telephoned downstairs several times to her
brother-in-law Mike, mainly to check on other things but also
to ask about Austin.
“I always talk to Dr. Sheridan —about the casualty patients, so I know what we might have to cope with up here in ICU,”she replied a shade too hastily, and certainly very awkwardly, for the grey eyes shot sparks, and his face became hard and unreadable.
Then, almost as if by divine intervention, the lift bell rang, and Mike was there with an intravenous bag in one hand, Dan the nurse pushing a gurney alongside him.
“Hi, gorgeous,”Mike said, throwing his arm around her in a big bear hug.
Mike had a sparkling personality, and they had been friends since childhood. The fact that he had married her younger sister Maeve had brought them all closer together, and she always had an understanding and sympathetic ear when it came to her work in the hospital. Sinead glimpsed a seething Austin out of the corner of her eye, and wondered briefly if he were jealous of Mike as she gazed up at the six foot four gentle giant.
“I heard about old Mr. Brown, Sinead, so I thought I’d come up with this one myself and give a bit of moral support,” he said, kissing the top of her head.
Sinead turned to Austin to apologise, but all he said was, “Obviously our little chat will have to be postponed. Come to my room tomorrow at four, Room 103, and don’t forget!” he said coldly, a veiled threat buried in his gruff tones.
Mike had been rattling on to Dan, and had settled the
new patient into the unit with the help of one of the other
nurses. As Austin waited in the wheelchair at the lift
Mike said, “Well, darling, that’s just about it for
you for today. Go straight home, and have a nice
hot bath with that jasmine stuff you like so much. Don’t
worry about dinner, I’ll bring home a take away.”
With another bear hug, Mike was away off down the
corridor, leaving Austin fuming as he wheeled into the
lift. As the doors shut on his scowling face, Sinead
realised too late what conclusions he had jumped to, and
opened her mouth to call him back and explain.
But it was too late, and with an arch smile, Sinead decided
that there was no harm at all in letting him think whatever
he liked.
Later in the solitude of the tub, Sinead turned over the events of the day in her mind, trying to make sense of them and her feelings for Austin Riordan. She had heard all about the marvellous Mr. Riordan from virtually every nurse who came into contact with him, for they all gushed about his good looks and charming manners until she had become sick of hearing his name or having him pointed out to her several times a day with squeals of delight. In only two months, he had turned the head of every woman at Castlemaine General.
But with the men it was different. Perhaps it was natural male envy, Sinead thought charitably, but Austin had gained himself the reputation of being an arrogant perfectionist who did not suffer fools gladly and would do anything to get his own way. He ruled the building site workers with a rod of iron, and while he did appreciate the fact that his renovations would inconvenience the hospital staff, he was not adverse to locking horns with the doctors if he felt they were being less than co-operative. Mike had complained to her several times that Austin dismissed any arguments put to him with a contemptuous wave of the hand. Even the head of the hospital, Declan Jameson, normally a brilliant peacemaker, was finding it a full-time job to keep some of the doctors away from Austin’s throat.
Was this why she was so afraid of Austin, or was there
something else troubling her at the back of it all? He was
certainly domineering, and Sinead did feel helpless in his
presence, but surely she had nothing to fear from him.
Or had she?
Guiltily, Sinead recalled his kiss on the mouth, and the
kiss on the cheek, his arms around her, the warmth of his
flesh, the
touch of his hand, and the amazing look in his
eyes. But she fought the tingling sensations back as
her more rational side told her that that way lay
madness. She had been deceived once before by that sort
of man, and vowed it would never happen again. Because
of Luke Stephens, her world had nearly come to an end, and
she never wanted to fall under a man’s spell again.
Luke had been her whole world, from her teenaged years until nearly a year ago, when his life had ended and her own had hung precariously in the balance in a hospital in Dubai for six months. Luke had been the reason for her training to be a nurse, for her moving from hospital to hospital like a vagabond while he continually sought new challenges, for her following him out to the Middle East.
Not that Sinead had complained, for she loved helping people, and knew that she was good at her job. She’d reached the height of her profession on her own merits, certainly not through any help from Luke. But always, just when Luke had seemed assured of a prestigious position, he would pull up stakes and restlessly move on to the next hospital and start all over again from scratch.
Once Sinead had reached thirty, she had hoped they’d settle down, but Luke had always managed to fob her off with excuses. Finally, after her persistence had lasted longer than usual, Luke informed her that he was going off to Dubai.
Tears welled up in Sinead’s eyes as she reminisced. Shaking herself, she realised that the bath water had long since grown cold, so she quickly hopped out of the tub and dried herself vigorously with a big fluffy towel. She perched on the edge of her bed and brushed out her hair, forcing herself to confront the painful memories she had avoided for so long.
Luke had moved out of their Dublin house, but eventually after several months Sinead had been able to secure a job out in Dubai herself. After leaving their home in the hands of an estate agent, she had packed only a couple of bags and rushed out to join him. She had known for some time that Luke’s attitude was different, but she believed that this time they’d be able to make a fresh start far away from Ireland.
Sinead recalled with a pang of self-disgust how much she had looked forward to seeing Luke again, and how she had fantasised about the magical reunion they would have once she was in his arms again.
But life had never worked out for Sinead the way she wished, so she should not really have been so devastated to find Luke’s door opened by a sultry dark-haired woman in a nurse’s uniform.
She had wanted to run away, but Luke had grabbed Sinead and pulled her into the flat, while the woman went off to work. The bitter truth was now out: the affair had been going on for years, and Sinead had been too blind to see, even though, to be fair, Luke had tried to tell her often enough that their relationship was going nowhere. Margaret had come out to the Middle East with him, and they had been living together with a view to getting married.
Sinead was devastated at the news. They had not made love for ages, though Sinead had not really minded since she had never found their sex life as fantastic as the novels and magazines had led her to believe it ought to be. But after so many years, and so many sacrifices, she and Luke should have been the ones getting married.
After a long talk, which Sinead remembered with shame was more like a great deal of begging and pleading on her part, Luke had agreed to give it one more chance. Margaret moved out, and Luke and Sinead had a quick registry office marriage.
This new security should have made Sinead feel safe, but her fears had actually grown. Sinead had begun to notice something else about Luke, which in some ways upset her more than his infidelity. She began to grow more and more certain as the weeks passed that Luke was using drugs heavily. He had worked long shifts at the hospital, and was often on call at all hours of the day and night. He also became subject to violent moods swings, and Sinead suspected that he was still seeing the sultry Margaret whenever he could squeeze her in, stretching his already exhausted body to breaking point.
One morning Sinead had stumbled sleepily in the bathroom to find him downing a huge handful of pills, and there had been a violent confrontation. Luke had hastily told her it was his own life, to ruin as he saw fit, and no matter how much she upbraided him, he simply said that he didn’t care anymore.
Sinead realised now with the benefit of hindsight that Luke had always been a willful, self-destructive person, who loved to live on the edge, and she also began to recognise that she would never have been able to help him, even if she had known sooner. But that did not make what happened to the both of them any less painful for all her attempts to be philosophical.
About a week after her discovery, shortly before the Christmas holidays, they had quarrelled bitterly over the drugs, and Luke had crashed their car. She was certain that he had crashed it into the stone wall deliberately, in order to end what had become for him an unbearable life. But that didn’t excuse him taking her with him, and she had been in hospital, in and out of a coma, with serious injuries, for about four months. Her sister Maeve, a primary school teacher, had dropped everything to be with her out in Dubai, and after another two months of hospital treatment, she had been allowed to return to Ireland.
Maeve and Mike had taken her in, and helped her feel grateful that she was still alive for the first time since the accident. She had returned to work in August, and was glad of the busy routine, for it kept her from brooding. But while the scars had healed externally, internally, she still felt as though she would never be a whole person again. She didn’t think she could trust any man ever again, certainly not a domineering one like Luke, like Austin Riordan!
No, Sinead had her career, her family, her peace of mind, and no man was ever going to take over her life again. She felt relieved at the thought that after tomorrow, she would have two weeks to get ready for Christmas, and so would not have any chance to cross paths with Austin again.
A small sigh of regret escaped her. She would go visit him at tea time tomorrow; there was no harm in seeing him one last time, was there? She shuddered with pleasure at the thought of his scent, his kisses. In spite of her fears, she looked forward to her next meeting with the compelling Austin Riordan.
A magical read, perfect for the holiday season. The turmoil the couple go through had me on the edge of my seat. I loved the hero, human and vulnerable, a real modern man but oh so sexy. I found myself really feeling for the heroine, who has had a hard life but never lets it get on top of her. This is one of the best contemporary romances I've read in ages-move over Harlequin! - Jacqui Jerome
buy the paperback buy the ebook Buy the Rocketbook! $6.00 Heart's Desire Amazon
Also by the author
The Faithful Heart -historical fiction 16th c Ireland
The Fire’s Centre -historical fiction 19th c Ireland
Ghost From the Past -romantic thriller
The Hart and the Harp -historical fiction 12th c Ireland
Hunger for Love -historical fiction 19th c Ireland
The Hungry Heart -historical fiction 19th c Ireland
Scars Upon Her Heart -historical fiction
The Sea of Love -historical fiction
Star Attraction -contemporary romance
Call Home the Heart -historical fiction